Terrors Terrors Go Away

I see you there. Don’t touch me.
Oh please God, don’t let them be there…
-I close my eyes…-
Pretty tears, hitting the floor.
Oh my God, please, they are still there…
Closer still. Look at those fingers. Disgusting and stretched.
Oh Jesus, the cliffs…
STOP IT
-I’m sweating-
I’m a monster. I’m terrified…
It’s here, watching me… in the Grey/Gray
It’s reaching for me now…
-I’m five years old… Praying to God-
I will be a good boy, Jesus, please help me…
-This needs to go away-
It touches my leg with its dark clawed fingers.
-The pain explodes, I almost vomit-
STAY AWAY
Jesus, it hurts, the tears fall faster than the sweat
I’m on fire…
I tear the mask from my face… I can’t breathe…
-They are still here-
—I’m 43—
OH GOD, please… Please, I will be a good boy…

T.L Stafford
5-2018

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24 comments

  1. I’m sorry for this pain that you write about – and likely it will never go away. My mom had nightmares after my father left … he took a hike, left her penniless, but he was very threatening and we had to call the police the last time she/I saw him. After that, my mom would dream about him every night … a man in a dark overcoat, with a black fedora pulled way down almost to his eyes. He carried a butcher knife, he would go to raise it as she tried to run away. I lived at home and in the next room. She would mumble and cry out as he got near and wake up with a scream that would send chills down your spine. She was afraid to go to sleep and after each nightmare, I would go running in there and sit with her. She looked so lost and sad with her tiny flashlight sitting there in the dark. My mom is gone now, but reading your post and writing about my mom made me sad. My mom would try to stay awake and became very haggard and drawn looking. I hated what his actions did to her and I hated my father then, just as I do now – he was a first-class POS, if you will excuse my language. I wish you peace … my mom’s nightmares subsided after a few years but they were a few years from hell for both of us.

  2. Night terrors are horrible to say the least. I watched our mom suffer for quite a while after her stint in rehab when she broke her leg. I’m sorry you struggle with these. 😦 I wish I could save you from them.

    I love you so much!

  3. I see you read the story of my dad taking out an insurance policy on me and the fire later. P.S. just a story but I was amazed how many believed it really happened. Sometimes I make up stories and they are believed and the true stories are considered made up. Reality can be found in the strangest places.

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